Acceptance

There have been 759 days that have passed since my Father did the same on 7/12/2014. Not once in those 759 days have I not thought of him. No one can be prepared for what the death of a loved one will do to an individual’s mental state and how it manifests in each person’s life is as unique to that person as their fingerprints. According to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, there are 5 stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

So, I suppose that I would have gone through each of these, maybe even in this order. The one I hate the most? Acceptance. There was a long time where I couldn’t even say the word “dad” without getting choked up. Lately I have allowed myself to talk about him more and I am always surprised that I’m able to do so without my voice starting to shake and/or my lip starting to quiver. I don’t like Acceptance. I don’t like being able to talk about him without shedding real tears. I don’t even like writing this without having to stop multiple times prior to signing off.

Of course, I can do without the Depression piece, but the first three stages I understand. I’m still in denial some days. I’m still angry and I still wrestle with the idea that maybe we could have done more as a family to prevent this from happening (bargaining). But accepting that he’s gone and not coming back and that I need to cope with that is not a stage that I ever wanted to get used to.

I guess that leaves me with just trying to accept the Acceptance stage, which is an odd notion. This was my first step towards that.

Yes & No: Nonversations

My brother Dave and I have been writing songs together for a couple years now according to the Voice Memos app on my phone. I have been writing music since I was about 13 years old but it has pretty much always been just guitar parts. We decided that we wanted to create music purely for the sake of being creative having something we could be proud of. It was always meant to be something we did just for us. No rules, just whatever came out we would run with. Well, once we started doing this we started really liking what was coming out and decided to keep it going.

I have found that writing with Dave is pretty easy in that we are on the same wavelength most of the time. It might be the blood thing but we can churn songs out pretty quickly once we have the basic jist of the song down. He has a ton of lyrics that are sitting there ready to be put to music and I am helping out here and there when I can.

We decided, after playing some of our songs at the now legendary PlanoEast reunion show, that we should try and record them whenever we are in the same city together. One of our good friends, Devan, decided to offer up his time and engineering/producing skills to help us out. We were all in Nashville a couple weeks ago making music, which is always my favorite thing to do. Being creative musically/artistically with people I care about and who are good at what they do is where I wanna be. Dave is a great singer and an even better writer. Devan is an amazing guitarist/songwriter who has a great ear for making songs sound as good as they possibly can. We laughed a lot and made music we can be proud of. It's going to be mostly acoustic driven but we are going to try and get as weird as we can with some of the songs production-wise in order be different and just have fun with it.

We are calling the band "Yes & No". This name won out just barely by 2 votes over JC/DC. The EP (or LP depending on how many songs we get to put down) will be called Nonversations. The first three songs that have been recorded are as follows:

1. Means to a Beginning
2. This Old Town
3. Tell Me You Love Me

We are proud of this stuff and can't wait to start letting people hear it. So, in order to stay up to date on this stuff, you can follow us on twitter @yesandnomusic or on facebook at facebook.com/yesandnomusic.

This is a Capozzi family affair - Mike has been creating logos for us (see top of this post) and Tim was involved in some of the writing of "Tell Me You Love Me". Also of note, Joe and Ellen made us.

This pedal was inspired by this new musical adventure. In order to stay positive, "No" was not included.

*custom JHS TS9 + Mr. Magic (boost)

New Music - It's Not You, It's Me.

This fall was going to be a very exciting one for me because 4 of my favorite bands came out with new albums (Yes, I still call them albums. You don't?) in a span of a couple months. This rarely happens. Needless to say, I was pretty excited about this and I was at the point where I was actually listening to Nashville radio stations because I was sick of all the music I owned. By the way, if you live in Nashville you know how powerful a statement that was. Worst radio stations ever...this is not up for debate.

Here are the albums in order of release date in 2011...

First up was Gungor's follow up to Beautiful Things with Ghosts Upon the Earth. Now, I really liked Beautiful Things. I could listen to it all the way through while only having the urge to skip one or two songs along the way. It was the first album I owned by them but it made me excited for more. I even saw them live during their tour for this album and was thoroughly impressed. Not so much with the new one. Usually I give an album at least 5 spins all the way through before I pass judgement. This one I gave more than 5 because I couldn't accept the fact that I just didn't enjoy it that much. I saw them live a couple months ago and left early. Not good. Is it me? People seem to like this new stuff but I could never seem to latch on.

Next up was Switchfoot's Vice Verses. I am very biased with this band because I have been listening to them since their first album and I have truly loved everything they have ever released. This one was no different. Brilliant title, great guitar tone, killer lyrics and catchy melodies. I'm hooked from the opening riff.

The next week, MuteMath came out with Odd Soul. This was the follow up to Armistice, which was released in 2009. I enjoyed their first two releases, but where this band really shines is their live show. I can't really describe it but it is definitely something worth checking out, even if you don't really like their music. You will at least gain some respect for their musicianship and charisma afterwards (or you won't). This album just doesn't do it for me...either before recording this album, or during, their guitarist left the band for reasons I don't have time researching. That resulted in their bassist recording all the guitars and you can sort of tell. Just because someone can play bass, doesn't mean they can play guitar, and vice verses (see what I did there?). Anyway, I'm a little disappointed with this album but not too down about it because I will still attend any show by them if they are within driving distance.

Almost done...next up was Coldplay's Mylo Xyloto. Stop it with this title. Just stop it. Despite the fact that it is now "cool" to make fun of Coldplay, they consistently have put out music that I, any many others, have enjoyed. I jumped on early with them with Parachutes (validating my right to enjoy their music) and have really enjoyed everything they've come out with. I was fortunate enough to see them live at Starwood Amphitheatre (R.I.P.) about 6 years ago and they blew my mind with their sound and polished setlist. This album...not so much. I like some of it but it feels like they over-thought this one. It will probably grow on me over time but it is nowhere near their last three albums for me.

One out of four? Ugh. This was a bit of a let down but here's the point I'm trying to get across to myself: Just because one of my favorite bands releases an album that I don't necessarily love doesn't mean that I am going to swear off buying their stuff going forward. So what if I spent $10 on something that I'm not completely satisfied with? It's $10. Plus, this band took time to create art and put it out there for everyone to hear. I can always respect that since I have tried to do it on a number of occasions.

I guess the larger point is that music is subjective. You may love 3 out of the 4 or even all of them. I don't care. The only reason I am even writing this is to waste time before my first child is born.


- James

Back in Action

This is not surprising to anyone, I'm sure, but I haven't blogged anything in a while. Whatever. I'm sure the two people that read this (my mother and myself) will forgive me. The reason I'm going to give it another go is my friend started a blog about teaching her two boys at home...they are both under 2 years old. Point is, if she can find time to blog with two little guys running (and laying) around, than I certainly can as well. Her blog is cool and you should check it out if you have young kids or if you plan on it some day. Ok...the next blog will be written right after this one to prove that I am dedicated.

Other People's Songs

I'm not sure how this happened, but I have some theories... I have been playing guitar for 15 years (since the time I was twelve) and I have rarely sat down to learn how to play other people's songs that I liked. When i started taking lessons from Tom Doyle (the best rhythm guitarist I have ever met), he told me that he wasn't going to be one of those teachers who just had be come in, pay my $20, and teach me how to play other people's songs. I, in my infinite 12 year old knowledge, took that to mean that it was a waste of time learning other people's stuff when I should be writing my own. Wrong. What he was saying is that there are a lot of people out there who say they are teachers but that is all they do. I get it now, but unfortunately it has taken me a while to do so. He was a great teacher and I know he was put in my life for a reason. I probably would still be playing to this day but probably not to the extent. I used to play lead over Derek and the Dominoes' Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs, or anything by Hendrix or Stevie Ray Vaughan. I never took the time to figure out why I loved a certain style or song. Now I'm going to start.

So, this blog is going to be a bit different going forward. A Clean Slate sort of takes on a different meaning now but it still fits. I am going to start learning new songs that I either think are a great song, or would be a challenge to play. Now, I have learned other people's songs in my life, I am just starting fresh with some new, and old, ones. Not all of these songs are going to be really difficult or mind blowing, I just need to start somewhere. I also may have learned these songs a while ago, but I'm going to really dive into them and figure them out for real this time.

I'm shooting for at least one per week but who knows. I will try to post a link to the song or video so you can at least hear what I'm talking about. I really just want to get better every day as a guitarist instead of being satisfied where I'm at. I know some of you that play guitar and are reading this are rolling your eyes or thinking "No, kidding, That's what you're supposed to be doing!" Give me a break! I'm still young!

If you have any suggestions or thoughts on a song you think would be cool to learn, or have learned, just let me know. I am open to ideas and just want to keep learning all different styles and riffs. Yeah! I'm excited. here goes nothin...

Gullible's Travels

So, yesterday we were minding our own business when we get a rather aggressive knock on the door. It is a girl who says she is selling magazines to earn points to go to college. Seemed rather harmless. It got more and more fishy as the next 20 minutes unfolded. Her story started crashing into itself by the second. Of course, while this was happening I felt that everything wasn't on the up and up, but we still ended up giving her money...I'll get to that.
She said that this is the third "contest" she has done and she knows all the best ways to get people to fork her over some cash. She can earn triple points if you donate the subscription, double points if it's a gift, quadruple points if you are stupid enough to give her any money...So we're looking through the list of magazines and I asked her if you had to pay up front. Of course the answer was yes. I told her to go into my bathroom and look next to the toilet. I told her she would find a stack of magazines that have barely been opened. That was me declining. I should have declined for the both of us but we did want to help her out so Lauren picked Interview Magazine out of sympathy for this "poor" girl.
I asked her where she was from and she said "here." That was the first real thing that struck me. She had a Tennessee Volunteers hoodie on...I asked her if she was wearing that so people would give her more money. She said no. Shocker. To make a long story a little longer, she was actually a nice girl. Cursed every so often but relatively harmless as far as we could tell. So I wrote her a check for $53 even, Lauren fed her a homemade muffin and she was on her way.
I quickly looked up the company she gave me, Atlantic Circulation, Inc. SCAM, SCAM, SCAM!!! EVERYWHERE I LOOKED --- "RIP OFF ALERT," "DOOR TO DOOR SCAM,"JAMES CAPOZZI IS GULLIBLE!" That was really there!
I quickly stopped payment on the check. Moral of the story...do this research while the person is in your home so you don't hand them over a piece of paper with your account number on it!!!!!!!!!! Ugh.

No Regrets and No Remorse

I just read an article that saddened me and I'm sure saddens other people when they read it as well. The article is about a guy who "took matters into his own hands" and murdered an abortion doctor and seems to have zero remorse about the situation. He says that "abortion is murder" and I guess his remedy for such a thing was to kill the person doing the killing. Seems logical...if you're 7 years old.
I have many problems with this. Many. But my main problem with this is that he claims to be a follower of Christ. If you call yourself a Christian you are claiming that, right? I mean, that's what I always thought. So here is another "Christian" (I like using quotations...) who is murdering someone in the name of all things holy and he truly believes he is doing the right thing here. Like maybe he should be looked at as someone who is acting courageously and saving many lives because of his courageous act.
He said his anti-abortion beliefs "go hand in hand" with his religious beliefs. He said he became born again in 1992 after watching an episode of "The 700 Club." Side note - Pat Robertson is getting some really bad press lately...He says he has no regrets for his actions. I say that if I even steal a pack of gum from the store I feel guilty about it!

I think abortion is wrong...just wanted to get that out there. I do think this man's actions are just as wrong.

I come away reading things like this (and I know it is not the first time this has happened) feeling more sad than anything else. I'm sad that people like this are giving non-believers the idea that Christians are like this and would be capable of something like murder in the name of Jesus. Even typing that feels really wrong. It really puts you a couple steps back when engaging someone about Christ when they see people like this claiming they fall in line with what you believe. So, how do we combat this? I guess it is an opening to tell people that this really isn't what true Christians believe and to tell them the actual truth. I kind of just look at it as more of a reason to be living the way I know I'm supposed to. That includes my actions when no one is looking.

This is front page news today and I wonder if it would be if this guy didn't claim to be a Christian. I think not.