To Be Completely Honest

Why is it that people have to premise certain statements with “To be completely honest,” or “I’m gonna be honest with you,”...? Were they not being honest before they said that? Were they being “partially” honest and now they feel they are being “totally” honest? I don’t get it. Maybe it is a matter of people thinking some statements have much stronger implications and deserve “total honesty.” Why can’t we be honest all the time? Well, I know the answer to that: Because we can’t! We are incapable. So the fact that people feel the need to be “totally” or “completely” honest at certain times is them identifying that they can tell the occasional lie. It is them letting everyone know that they are sometimes dishonest, and this is not one of those times. It is fascinating to me. By the way, there is no such thing as “stretching the truth.”

My Mom always used to say “Nobody believes a liar.” True. I always used to scoff at her when she said it, probably because I had just been caught in a lie. Honesty is a funny thing. Not really, but learning that being honest is a virtue is an interesting process. I am always interested to see what age kids start realizing they don’t have to tell the truth. I suppose it starts pretty young and, depending on how it is handled, it will continue into adulthood. Oh, boy…can’t wait to have kids and have them start lying to me. Not gonna be good for them.

I used to think I was a “good liar.” What?! Why would anyone want to be a good liar? Well, it means that you can deceive people and keep a straight face. Yea, that’s what I wanna be good at. Ridiculous. I guess it is good for poker, but not much else. I just want to be someone who doesn’t seem like they are hiding something all the time.


“A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies.” Proverbs 12:17.


Nobody believes a liar! Simple as that.

That's What I'm Talking About

That’s what I’m talking about. You wanna know what I’m about to talk about? Not saying that’s what I’m talking about. I was at a restaurant the other day with some friends and there were multiple football games playing all at the same time. There are positives and some negatives that go on at a place like this. The majority of the people there are rooting for the team of the city that they are in. In this case, it is the Tennessee Titans. There are, however, multiple people watching, and cheering loudly, for their favorite team. This causes some confusion because once people start cheering the natural tendency is to want to know what is going on. There is a lot going on and it takes a lot just to concentrate on what’s going on in your game. Mentally unstable people should not participate in a game day restaurant like this one as their brain may explode and ruin it for everyone else.

So, the stage is set. Everyone is having a great time (if there team is winning) and eating and being merry. Except for the guy who is sitting by himself yelling “That’s what I’m talking about!” after every positive event in the game. First of all, he is sitting BY HIMSELF. He wasn’t talking about ANYTHING and then keeps letting everyone know that whatever happened in that game is precisely what he was talking about. It’s like he is taking credit for whatever just happened by letting people know that he said it first and then it happened. Maybe the reason he is sitting alone is a direct result of what he was talking about and his companion didn’t agree with him so they left.

Look…there are plenty of things you are allowed to yell at any given event. “Yeah!” “Go, Go, Go!” “WHAT?!” Endless possibilities…except for “That’s what I’m talking about.” Do yourself a favor and ease up. By the way…it’s kind of like telling someone they are all that and a bag of chips. Think about it.

One Road Says Hello, The Other Says Goodbye

Hey Hey. Just really bored right now. My wife is gone for the night on a big important thing somewhere that is not Nashville and I just realized that sometimes being alone is not the best place to be. I sometimes have mentioned that I enjoy being alone but I guess I am finding that every once in a while it is not too fun. Maybe this idea of hiding myself away has reached its ending point. I don't know what is going on tonight. It is a strange night indeed. So strange in fact that I am just writing aimlessly.
I have been making some subtle changes to my life in hopes of becoming a better indication that God is at work in my life. Some of the changes are not drastic and some of them are. I recently (within the past year) have made an effort to not fall into the big consumerism ditch. I used to be the person who had to have the best new gadget right when it came out without even thinking about it. I have gotten to where I don't think in those terms at all anymore but this week that old attitude has snuck up on me a bit. I have fended it off and am really trying to stay true to what I am becoming...a responsible adult.

Just a second ago I hit the spell check button and there were no misspellings found. Pretty proud of that.

Goodnight.

Sick of Being Sick?

Why is it that we (men, boyz) get sick and feel like it is the end of our time here on earth? Maybe this is just perception, or maybe this is actually what happens to the majority of us (men, boyz). I am writing this and I am a sick person at this moment in time. I actually, believe it or not, stayed home from work Monday and Tuesday because of this epidemic that is happening in my body. What’s worse is that my wife is not home to take care of me. See, right there is the problem. I get the slightest little stuffy nose and I revert back to middle school and want someone to make Maypo (better than oatmeal) for me. Really all I have is a cold. It feels like lupus but it is obviously less serious than I am making it seem. I am not one who craves attention, and I actually think that I shy away from it…but when I am sick, I want everyone to know about how hard a time I am having just living my normal life.

I took my temperature and, when it said 98.6 degrees, I replied with “Liar!” I don’t know what it is and I really have nothing definitive to say on this matter. Boyz, when women say that men are like children when they get sick, just accept it and keep laying in your own filth on the couch and watching The Cosby Show. For some reason that show is on at all hours during the day. It is amazing though!

Men try to act tough 98% of the time, and then once a chink in their armor hits (headache) they are dying all of a sudden. There is something to that and I totally admit that this goes on. I rarely get sick, and when I do it is a minor disaster. The point is that this will never change. Sorry ladies. I have nothing profound on this matter at all...


Really I am just writing this so you can all know that I am sick at this moment.

This Is Home

So, we bought a house. Huh? I have been married for a year, I’m 25, and I own a house. This is me we’re talking about, right? I just can’t really fathom what is going on here. I moved here 3 years ago struggling to finish school after failing miserably a couple times in Boston. I really am thankful for my wife knowing what she wants (a house) when she wants it (now). If it weren’t for her we would still be renting and for a couple more years.

Now the question is what does this mean for me? Am I supposed to be this successful guy who makes a ton of money and owns a home? Does anything really change other than where I get my mail? I’m kind of confused. I feel like there is this expectation now that I have to make more money or have kids right away or something. These are expectations that have been put on me by ME. No one has ever mentioned any of this to me, I guess it is just the mindset that I have when I think of people owning their own place.

What’s next for me? I really don’t know. I have this music thing going on and a steady job but there has to be more. I want to be someone who is just following where God wants to put him. If an opportunity came up that I couldn’t predict that took me out of this state, or even country, would I be apprehensive because we just bought a house? I don’t know. I hope not.

I guess the point, if there is one, is that just because my wife and I bought a home and we are secure in Nashville and in our positions at work doesn’t mean that this is it. It can’t be. I want to be putty. Send me there. Keep me here. But let me know what it is. I just want to know. The only way to find out is to find out.

Signs

“I just need a sign!” Have you ever said that? Don’t lie to me. You said it yesterday. I believe that God gives us signs on occasion to help us along when we are stuck or really in need of something more. The thing that I have really been struggling with is what we do when we see/hear them. What normally happens, is we think we get a sign, and it is clear as day, but we still question it. It can be right in front of our face a lot of the time and we will still be asking for one! Why do we do this??? We are so worried about having some profound moment happen to us that we miss the subtle one that comes when we least expect it.

I believe that we expect so much and give so little. Why would God give us a sign if we are not willing to give Him five minutes a day? But He is still faithful, always. Signs can come at the toughest moments of our lives. I believe I am in Nashville because God wanted me here. I have told this story to some but it was so profound to me when it happened that I knew what I had to do. I was at a stand-still and I was 22 years old, living at home fresh out of flunking out of school. I was in a slight depression and had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I attended Inside Out Soul Festival for the last time with my family and, unlike every other year, I only bought one cd. It was Steven Curtis Chapman’s Abbey Road Sessions cd/dvd. Ironically enough, the first cd I ever purchased was King of the Jungle by Chapman. Classic. I got back from Soul Fest and I still felt pretty down. I remember it very clearly…I was driving in my car and decided to watch the dvd part of the sessions in my car (yes, I have a dvd player in my car). So I was listening to Steven Curtis talk about how he was in a similar situation as myself and didn’t know where to turn. What he did was not give up, but he gave in to God’s Word and asked Him for direction. The next scene started out with a crowd cheering, followed by “Hello, Nashville!” It was clear to me. This was a sign. Tears happened and I began to start the process of enrolling in school down here.

Can I tell you that I was right on it after that and all my waking moments were spent trying to get ready to move? No. I can’t tell you that because that is what we do. We see or hear something, clear as day, and we still question it. I still questioned the validity of what I had just heard and felt. I truly believe that God shows us things in multiple ways and He does it in His time. We can ask for signs all day if we want but wouldn’t it be more beneficial to just get in the Word and find out what He is trying to say to us that way? I think we put too much on these “lightning” moments to come, when they are happening every day and we ignore them. We would all love to have a story where God audibly spoke to us and it was clear what our next step was. This is unrealistic. I want to be faithful to what I am supposed to be doing and I believe that doors will begin to open. Will I see them when they are there, or will I still have these blinders on?

Matthew 13:38-39

The some of the scribes and Pharisees said to Him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from You.” But He answered and said to them, “An evil and adulterous generation craves for a sign; and yet no sign will be given to it…

Reputation

Do you think people have good things to say about you when you are not around? Do you think you have a “good reputation?” Well, how can someone know that? It may be harder to figure out than we think, or it may be quite simple. When I was in Boston, I knew there were people who did not like anything about me. They were, generally, people who watched me date their ex-girlfriends. You know how that goes…we automatically don’t like the person who ends up with someone you used to be with. That is human nature. But, did they really know me? No. They knew a portion of me which was not a favorable one in their opinion. Is there any way to ensure that we will have a favorable reputation? Well, for the most part, yes!
While I was growing up, I heard a lot of talk about reputation, mostly from my Father. He was big into the Capozzi name. He wanted to make sure that his kids weren’t giving the family a bad name. Who wants to be part of a family that has a bad reputation? Nobody. Sometimes it happens. One false move, in the eyes of those watching, can lead to a bad rep. That can be unfortunate because it can be hard to make up for that one mistake. It’s like getting something on your criminal record or your driving record. It takes years to remedy what you have done to make people’s perceptions of you change. Sometimes even time is not enough to change people’s minds about you.
People try so hard to portray a good image of themselves to others. As Christians, we have more than just our name to represent. We have the responsibility of showing people how Jesus lived and who He was and is. That puts a lot of pressure on us since we can never be perfect. We are going to screw up every day and sometimes in worse ways than others. How do you get a good reputation? I don’t know. Like I said, how do you know if you have one. I guess if you are intuitive/perceptive enough, you can realize how people look at you. Basically, you have to stand for what you believe and live by those first two commandments (not forgetting the rest of them). Good luck with this! If all else fails, and your reputation is ruined, move 1100 miles away!

James