So, here’s something I never thought would happen to me. Now, even saying this I feel like I am being disloyal to myself and may look back on this and wonder what I was thinking…I have lost some desire to play music. Gasp! Let me explain myself…I will always want some part of my life to involve playing guitar and being creative, but right now I feel like it isn’t there. I can honestly say that I haven’t just “jammed” for a while. “Jamming” is reserved for electric guitar. I play acoustic every day, but in spurts. I don’t know what my deal is. This is particularly disturbing for two reasons:
1. I have a responsibility to play, and write, with someone who is at the exact opposite place in her life. She is all about music right now, and I am all about playing out and writing still, but the drive isn’t what it once was.
2. God has given me a talent, I believe, and I don’t feel like I have honored that to its potential. I feel like God has a will for me, and that a part of that will includes my ability to play guitar and help people worship.
Okay, so this is kind of hard to write and read what I’m writing at the same time. I have never felt this way. When I was asked by Paul Baloche to play with him at a retreat last year, I knew that I was supposed to be doing that. I also felt like praise music was the place to be. It has to be the most rewarding way to play, not only for me, but mostly for the people worshipping. I know that, in some capacity, I need to be playing for the Lord. I have been so blessed to be a part of some amazing experiences that revolved around music. Some of my best memories in life were with my band in high school. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t think of those times and how much fun they were. Will I get that feeling back? I don’t know.
This may not be as serious as it sounds. I am being dramatic. But, all I want to do is play the guitar and use my talents for the Lord. It sounds simple but we need to be in the right mindset for Him to even give us the opportunities He has waiting for us. Granted, a lot has been going on lately, such as, a wedding! There is no excuse for me not to be giving back to God knowing how much He has given me. I will get it back, I know that. I just need to be better about playing for the right reasons. I think I do an alright job with that. I don’t need any glory or recognition for my playing, I really don’t. Maybe from my wife, but that’s it. I don’t care if I am in the 90th percentile in Nashville of decent guitarists. It doesn’t matter. That is not why I play…
