Do you know Boston James? Well, he is long gone…but do you remember him? He was one of the sorriest people on the planet. Oh man…you don’t remember?! Well, let me refresh our memory. Boston James was the kind of guy who was really lazy and knew it. He loved sleeping in (until 1 or 2 in the afternoon) and staying up until 3 am. He was the kind of guy who made you think he had it all together and he really didn’t. He didn’t call people back because he didn’t like talking on the phone, and that affected many friendships. Boston James did have some great friends though. They accepted who he was and just rode it out.
Then there was Boston James’ love life. Oh man. Really a bad person to try and get in a relationship with and you were lucky to make it to three months. Boston James took everything for granted…he loved playing guitar but would he have ever kept playing if his dad didn’t upgrade his Peavey Raptor to, eventually, a ’62 reissue Stratocaster? Probably not. Would he have ever been in a band that changed his life and forged some great friendships and memories if his mom did not make him join the praise band in high school? I doubt it. Oh yea, and worst of all, he was one of those “Christians” who was living off his parents faith. He was a believer, but was he living it out?
Why is Nashville James bashing Boston James? Well, I am trying to show how blessed I am and the mercy that God has on us all. I see that when I finally gave in to His will and moved to another world, that he really began to show me where to go next. It was not an immediate change, but it felt like while I was driving to Nashville with everything I owned for 16 hours that I was being renewed. Not many people have a chance to completely start over, and I feel like I was given that chance. I said I was not going to date anyone for the first semester at Trevecca and I actually stuck to it! The whole time knowing that my future wife was someone that I hung out with every day. Ask anyone who knew Boston James if they thought I would be married or even have had a meaningful relationship and they will laugh at you.
Take a step back and look at what’s going on. That is something I never did. I never realized the influence or affect we can have on others lives and even our own. Everything we do has a consequence, good or bad. This is not the deepest piece of writing I’ve ever done but I was reflecting today and this is what was going on in my brain head. Boston James is dead.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
A Gift? For Me?!
So, here’s something I never thought would happen to me. Now, even saying this I feel like I am being disloyal to myself and may look back on this and wonder what I was thinking…I have lost some desire to play music. Gasp! Let me explain myself…I will always want some part of my life to involve playing guitar and being creative, but right now I feel like it isn’t there. I can honestly say that I haven’t just “jammed” for a while. “Jamming” is reserved for electric guitar. I play acoustic every day, but in spurts. I don’t know what my deal is. This is particularly disturbing for two reasons:
1. I have a responsibility to play, and write, with someone who is at the exact opposite place in her life. She is all about music right now, and I am all about playing out and writing still, but the drive isn’t what it once was.
2. God has given me a talent, I believe, and I don’t feel like I have honored that to its potential. I feel like God has a will for me, and that a part of that will includes my ability to play guitar and help people worship.
Okay, so this is kind of hard to write and read what I’m writing at the same time. I have never felt this way. When I was asked by Paul Baloche to play with him at a retreat last year, I knew that I was supposed to be doing that. I also felt like praise music was the place to be. It has to be the most rewarding way to play, not only for me, but mostly for the people worshipping. I know that, in some capacity, I need to be playing for the Lord. I have been so blessed to be a part of some amazing experiences that revolved around music. Some of my best memories in life were with my band in high school. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t think of those times and how much fun they were. Will I get that feeling back? I don’t know.
This may not be as serious as it sounds. I am being dramatic. But, all I want to do is play the guitar and use my talents for the Lord. It sounds simple but we need to be in the right mindset for Him to even give us the opportunities He has waiting for us. Granted, a lot has been going on lately, such as, a wedding! There is no excuse for me not to be giving back to God knowing how much He has given me. I will get it back, I know that. I just need to be better about playing for the right reasons. I think I do an alright job with that. I don’t need any glory or recognition for my playing, I really don’t. Maybe from my wife, but that’s it. I don’t care if I am in the 90th percentile in Nashville of decent guitarists. It doesn’t matter. That is not why I play…
1. I have a responsibility to play, and write, with someone who is at the exact opposite place in her life. She is all about music right now, and I am all about playing out and writing still, but the drive isn’t what it once was.
2. God has given me a talent, I believe, and I don’t feel like I have honored that to its potential. I feel like God has a will for me, and that a part of that will includes my ability to play guitar and help people worship.
Okay, so this is kind of hard to write and read what I’m writing at the same time. I have never felt this way. When I was asked by Paul Baloche to play with him at a retreat last year, I knew that I was supposed to be doing that. I also felt like praise music was the place to be. It has to be the most rewarding way to play, not only for me, but mostly for the people worshipping. I know that, in some capacity, I need to be playing for the Lord. I have been so blessed to be a part of some amazing experiences that revolved around music. Some of my best memories in life were with my band in high school. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t think of those times and how much fun they were. Will I get that feeling back? I don’t know.
This may not be as serious as it sounds. I am being dramatic. But, all I want to do is play the guitar and use my talents for the Lord. It sounds simple but we need to be in the right mindset for Him to even give us the opportunities He has waiting for us. Granted, a lot has been going on lately, such as, a wedding! There is no excuse for me not to be giving back to God knowing how much He has given me. I will get it back, I know that. I just need to be better about playing for the right reasons. I think I do an alright job with that. I don’t need any glory or recognition for my playing, I really don’t. Maybe from my wife, but that’s it. I don’t care if I am in the 90th percentile in Nashville of decent guitarists. It doesn’t matter. That is not why I play…
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Slackers, European Shanks and selling guitars
That is a great word to describe me when it has to do with journaling...Slacker. I will make my excuse of being busy trying to get ready for a wedding that is a little over a month away, but it is not a good one. Lauren had her bachelorette party last night downtown and I had the honor of writing a 15 pg paper at my house all night. I was actually ok with my night alone. I am used to being a loner, as I have written before, and last night was refreshing. I did not feel any jealousy about her upcoming night and I was not worried about what was going to happen. I probably should have been because her friend Heidi was involved in the setup of the night. Heidi, if you are reading this...Um...i love you, but you're crazy. I just think it is such an amazing situation that I have been given and having a sense of peace about everything was totally enexpected and welcomed. I am ready, by the way, to get married! It has been a long road and it hasn't really hit me yet, but I suppose that won't happen until I am standing there in my one button tuxedo and see her walking down the aisle. I bought my wedding band the other day and I must say that I got pretty excited. Whenever a girl starts hitting on me or giving me "the eyes" (and this happens a lot), all I will have to do is show her my European shank on my ring finger of my left hand. There's going to be a lot of rejection and tears coming soon...
I did something I did not anticipate doing for a long time, if ever. I sold my parker fly which was a guitar that I begged for when I was in college in Boston. This guitar played like a dream. It looked like a novelty, and it was, but I loved it. I played most of my PlanoEast songs with this guitar and I have a lot of great memories with it. Basically, I realized that there are more imoprtant things that are taking place right now that require cold, hard cash in order to exist. I am getting married... I am starting to grow up and realize what is important, and what needs to be sold on Craig's List. I am neglecting to say that I stil have my '62 re-issue Fender Stratocaster and two amazing acoustic guitars, thanks to my father, so I will be fine. The thing that I am glad to be learning is that I have to think of not just myself anymore. I have so much more of a responsibility than I ever have and I am going to embrace it rather than deny it.
Ok I didn't finish my paper last night so off I go. First word of the title = me.
James
I did something I did not anticipate doing for a long time, if ever. I sold my parker fly which was a guitar that I begged for when I was in college in Boston. This guitar played like a dream. It looked like a novelty, and it was, but I loved it. I played most of my PlanoEast songs with this guitar and I have a lot of great memories with it. Basically, I realized that there are more imoprtant things that are taking place right now that require cold, hard cash in order to exist. I am getting married... I am starting to grow up and realize what is important, and what needs to be sold on Craig's List. I am neglecting to say that I stil have my '62 re-issue Fender Stratocaster and two amazing acoustic guitars, thanks to my father, so I will be fine. The thing that I am glad to be learning is that I have to think of not just myself anymore. I have so much more of a responsibility than I ever have and I am going to embrace it rather than deny it.
Ok I didn't finish my paper last night so off I go. First word of the title = me.
James
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Do it Yourself
So, the rest of these entries will be coated with talk of marriage and things of that nature because I am only 11 weeks away from getting hitched! Wow! That is incredible to me how fast the summer has gone by and all of the months since we were engaged on Dec. 24th. Lauren is on vacation with her friend, Heidi, right now as a, sort of, last hoorah. This will be one of the last times I let her hang out with anyone so I hope she enjoys it.
I am used to being alone. I am a loner, I guess, but I enjoy being that way. I have been in Nashville since September '05 and I can't say that I am as close to anyone here as I was to my friends in Boston. Not even close. I like to think that I am able to be by myself all the time and be fine and have everything I need with God, my family, and Lauren. Eh, that's probably not the case. I have struggled to meet good friends. We all need that fellowship that comes along with just hanging out and being around other Godly people. Right now I don't really have that but i will continue to pray for it.
I am trying not to stress out about things involving money because we don't really control that. We can work hard at our job but ultimately it is God who decides who is going to use what He gives them to serve Him. That is where a lot of people are a little off. "If I just work my butt off at my job I will make a lot of money." Sure, that could work, but are you being faithful to God's will? He shows favor and rewards people for their hard work towards the Kingdom of Heaven. That's what I want to work towards. God is showing me that I don't need to have "things" to satisfy me in my life. I am in the market for a new vehicle and I started looking at some newer cars with a lot of cool options because that is what I am used to. I don't need that! I need to trust in God and he will provide what I need. I get so ridiculous about guitars and cars and things that I forget my true purpose of serving Him. He gave me a talent that I have used to glorify Him in spots but it has to be all or nothing.
"I wanna be evergreen. I wanna live all year 'round." -Switchfoot
-James-
I am used to being alone. I am a loner, I guess, but I enjoy being that way. I have been in Nashville since September '05 and I can't say that I am as close to anyone here as I was to my friends in Boston. Not even close. I like to think that I am able to be by myself all the time and be fine and have everything I need with God, my family, and Lauren. Eh, that's probably not the case. I have struggled to meet good friends. We all need that fellowship that comes along with just hanging out and being around other Godly people. Right now I don't really have that but i will continue to pray for it.
I am trying not to stress out about things involving money because we don't really control that. We can work hard at our job but ultimately it is God who decides who is going to use what He gives them to serve Him. That is where a lot of people are a little off. "If I just work my butt off at my job I will make a lot of money." Sure, that could work, but are you being faithful to God's will? He shows favor and rewards people for their hard work towards the Kingdom of Heaven. That's what I want to work towards. God is showing me that I don't need to have "things" to satisfy me in my life. I am in the market for a new vehicle and I started looking at some newer cars with a lot of cool options because that is what I am used to. I don't need that! I need to trust in God and he will provide what I need. I get so ridiculous about guitars and cars and things that I forget my true purpose of serving Him. He gave me a talent that I have used to glorify Him in spots but it has to be all or nothing.
"I wanna be evergreen. I wanna live all year 'round." -Switchfoot
-James-
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Storm
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the oceans shapeless form.
The water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head.
If I could just see you everything would be alright.
If I could see you this darkness would turn into light
And I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright, and everything will be alright.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown,
so why am I ten feet under and upside down.
Barely surviving has become my purpose
'cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.
And I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright, and everything will be alright.
-Lifehouse-
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I don't know what's about to come out...
That is a true statement. I honestly just wanted to write something because my one post is looking pretty lonely in its little corner of the interweb. So I am in the full swing of things at my new jobby and it is going well. It is a small company (about 30 people) and I am fitting in nicely. For the sole purpose of me never having to explain this to you in person, here is what I do:
I work for a PPO (preferred provider organization) and I try to get people to join our network. These "people" include physicians, hospitals, & Chiropractors and others...That's all I'm going to say about it because it is boring. Nobody wants to read about that, including me.
God has really been opening doors for me lately. Doors that I should have never even known about, but for some reason He wants me to open them. Just the fact that I have this job is a good example of that. Do I know anything about health care??? NO! Did I ever want to know anything about health care??? NO! Didn't care. (Still don't!) For some reason this is now my job. All I know is the last 2 or 3 months that I was a "manager" at Outback were some of the most miserable times in my life. I didn't want anyone to approach me at all because I was afraid I would make them realize how bitter at life I was. It was a version of me that I don't want to re-visit. God offered a way out of it and I took it. I couldn't be happier. I know that this is potentially one of the most frightening places to be...satisfied. That is when the devil goes to work. I don't think we need to spend any amount of the day just waiting for something bad to happen, but I do think we need to be prepared for it. How do you prepare for that? You trust in God. Sounds easy...it isn't.
Ok enough for now. To the three or four people that read this, you're welcome. These are pearls of wisdom. Cherish them.
-James-
Don't die with the music in you
I work for a PPO (preferred provider organization) and I try to get people to join our network. These "people" include physicians, hospitals, & Chiropractors and others...That's all I'm going to say about it because it is boring. Nobody wants to read about that, including me.
God has really been opening doors for me lately. Doors that I should have never even known about, but for some reason He wants me to open them. Just the fact that I have this job is a good example of that. Do I know anything about health care??? NO! Did I ever want to know anything about health care??? NO! Didn't care. (Still don't!) For some reason this is now my job. All I know is the last 2 or 3 months that I was a "manager" at Outback were some of the most miserable times in my life. I didn't want anyone to approach me at all because I was afraid I would make them realize how bitter at life I was. It was a version of me that I don't want to re-visit. God offered a way out of it and I took it. I couldn't be happier. I know that this is potentially one of the most frightening places to be...satisfied. That is when the devil goes to work. I don't think we need to spend any amount of the day just waiting for something bad to happen, but I do think we need to be prepared for it. How do you prepare for that? You trust in God. Sounds easy...it isn't.
Ok enough for now. To the three or four people that read this, you're welcome. These are pearls of wisdom. Cherish them.
-James-
Don't die with the music in you
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Just Relax
Now there's something I've never heard anyone tell me. Relax. Take it Easy. I pride myself on being a "go with the flow" kind of guy. Not to where I am so careless that I come off ignorant, or that i just don't care, but just enough to look calm and under control. This is extremely hard to do when you are 3 months away from getting married, you just started a new job, and you need to start looking for a house by the end of August!
I don't know why I try to keep everything inside and let it fester in there until it is forced to come out. I have never been one to spill my guts on any given topic, which makes me wonder why I started a blog in the first place. I think when I was told to relax, it hit me harder that anyone saying that to someone else would expect. I really needed that. Time after time God blesses me and I continue to worry about things as if they were too big for Him. Nonsense.
I needed a place to live for the summer and had about one month to really find a place. If I didn't find something I would have been forced to move in with my fiance for the three months before we should be living together. I met someone who is a sound engineer and a really cool guy. We met randomly through my friend Laura who met him and they started talking about recording. These things happen all the time in Nashville but none of them are ever legit. Within a span of 2 weeks of recording and getting to know each other, i moved in to his place for less than i was paying at my house for the last year. Granted the place is smaller than Vern Troyer's closet, but it is a place with a studio and a brand new friendship that I have been yearning for since I have been down south (that is another blog entry).
Just Relax. I appear to have everything under control but it is obvious that i don't. I put on a good act though, you have to admit. God has everything where He wants it. I am convinced that I have no idea what is good for me in life. If I don't trust in God to show me what to do, I am going to end up really messing up my life and isolating myself from everyone around me. Ok, this is getting out of control...there's no way I just wrote all of this. Well, this may be a good idea after all. thanks dave.
-James-
I don't know why I try to keep everything inside and let it fester in there until it is forced to come out. I have never been one to spill my guts on any given topic, which makes me wonder why I started a blog in the first place. I think when I was told to relax, it hit me harder that anyone saying that to someone else would expect. I really needed that. Time after time God blesses me and I continue to worry about things as if they were too big for Him. Nonsense.
I needed a place to live for the summer and had about one month to really find a place. If I didn't find something I would have been forced to move in with my fiance for the three months before we should be living together. I met someone who is a sound engineer and a really cool guy. We met randomly through my friend Laura who met him and they started talking about recording. These things happen all the time in Nashville but none of them are ever legit. Within a span of 2 weeks of recording and getting to know each other, i moved in to his place for less than i was paying at my house for the last year. Granted the place is smaller than Vern Troyer's closet, but it is a place with a studio and a brand new friendship that I have been yearning for since I have been down south (that is another blog entry).
Just Relax. I appear to have everything under control but it is obvious that i don't. I put on a good act though, you have to admit. God has everything where He wants it. I am convinced that I have no idea what is good for me in life. If I don't trust in God to show me what to do, I am going to end up really messing up my life and isolating myself from everyone around me. Ok, this is getting out of control...there's no way I just wrote all of this. Well, this may be a good idea after all. thanks dave.
-James-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)