So, the rest of these entries will be coated with talk of marriage and things of that nature because I am only 11 weeks away from getting hitched! Wow! That is incredible to me how fast the summer has gone by and all of the months since we were engaged on Dec. 24th. Lauren is on vacation with her friend, Heidi, right now as a, sort of, last hoorah. This will be one of the last times I let her hang out with anyone so I hope she enjoys it.
I am used to being alone. I am a loner, I guess, but I enjoy being that way. I have been in Nashville since September '05 and I can't say that I am as close to anyone here as I was to my friends in Boston. Not even close. I like to think that I am able to be by myself all the time and be fine and have everything I need with God, my family, and Lauren. Eh, that's probably not the case. I have struggled to meet good friends. We all need that fellowship that comes along with just hanging out and being around other Godly people. Right now I don't really have that but i will continue to pray for it.
I am trying not to stress out about things involving money because we don't really control that. We can work hard at our job but ultimately it is God who decides who is going to use what He gives them to serve Him. That is where a lot of people are a little off. "If I just work my butt off at my job I will make a lot of money." Sure, that could work, but are you being faithful to God's will? He shows favor and rewards people for their hard work towards the Kingdom of Heaven. That's what I want to work towards. God is showing me that I don't need to have "things" to satisfy me in my life. I am in the market for a new vehicle and I started looking at some newer cars with a lot of cool options because that is what I am used to. I don't need that! I need to trust in God and he will provide what I need. I get so ridiculous about guitars and cars and things that I forget my true purpose of serving Him. He gave me a talent that I have used to glorify Him in spots but it has to be all or nothing.
"I wanna be evergreen. I wanna live all year 'round." -Switchfoot
-James-
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Storm
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the oceans shapeless form.
The water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head.
If I could just see you everything would be alright.
If I could see you this darkness would turn into light
And I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright, and everything will be alright.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown,
so why am I ten feet under and upside down.
Barely surviving has become my purpose
'cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.
And I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright, and everything will be alright.
-Lifehouse-
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I don't know what's about to come out...
That is a true statement. I honestly just wanted to write something because my one post is looking pretty lonely in its little corner of the interweb. So I am in the full swing of things at my new jobby and it is going well. It is a small company (about 30 people) and I am fitting in nicely. For the sole purpose of me never having to explain this to you in person, here is what I do:
I work for a PPO (preferred provider organization) and I try to get people to join our network. These "people" include physicians, hospitals, & Chiropractors and others...That's all I'm going to say about it because it is boring. Nobody wants to read about that, including me.
God has really been opening doors for me lately. Doors that I should have never even known about, but for some reason He wants me to open them. Just the fact that I have this job is a good example of that. Do I know anything about health care??? NO! Did I ever want to know anything about health care??? NO! Didn't care. (Still don't!) For some reason this is now my job. All I know is the last 2 or 3 months that I was a "manager" at Outback were some of the most miserable times in my life. I didn't want anyone to approach me at all because I was afraid I would make them realize how bitter at life I was. It was a version of me that I don't want to re-visit. God offered a way out of it and I took it. I couldn't be happier. I know that this is potentially one of the most frightening places to be...satisfied. That is when the devil goes to work. I don't think we need to spend any amount of the day just waiting for something bad to happen, but I do think we need to be prepared for it. How do you prepare for that? You trust in God. Sounds easy...it isn't.
Ok enough for now. To the three or four people that read this, you're welcome. These are pearls of wisdom. Cherish them.
-James-
Don't die with the music in you
I work for a PPO (preferred provider organization) and I try to get people to join our network. These "people" include physicians, hospitals, & Chiropractors and others...That's all I'm going to say about it because it is boring. Nobody wants to read about that, including me.
God has really been opening doors for me lately. Doors that I should have never even known about, but for some reason He wants me to open them. Just the fact that I have this job is a good example of that. Do I know anything about health care??? NO! Did I ever want to know anything about health care??? NO! Didn't care. (Still don't!) For some reason this is now my job. All I know is the last 2 or 3 months that I was a "manager" at Outback were some of the most miserable times in my life. I didn't want anyone to approach me at all because I was afraid I would make them realize how bitter at life I was. It was a version of me that I don't want to re-visit. God offered a way out of it and I took it. I couldn't be happier. I know that this is potentially one of the most frightening places to be...satisfied. That is when the devil goes to work. I don't think we need to spend any amount of the day just waiting for something bad to happen, but I do think we need to be prepared for it. How do you prepare for that? You trust in God. Sounds easy...it isn't.
Ok enough for now. To the three or four people that read this, you're welcome. These are pearls of wisdom. Cherish them.
-James-
Don't die with the music in you
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Just Relax
Now there's something I've never heard anyone tell me. Relax. Take it Easy. I pride myself on being a "go with the flow" kind of guy. Not to where I am so careless that I come off ignorant, or that i just don't care, but just enough to look calm and under control. This is extremely hard to do when you are 3 months away from getting married, you just started a new job, and you need to start looking for a house by the end of August!
I don't know why I try to keep everything inside and let it fester in there until it is forced to come out. I have never been one to spill my guts on any given topic, which makes me wonder why I started a blog in the first place. I think when I was told to relax, it hit me harder that anyone saying that to someone else would expect. I really needed that. Time after time God blesses me and I continue to worry about things as if they were too big for Him. Nonsense.
I needed a place to live for the summer and had about one month to really find a place. If I didn't find something I would have been forced to move in with my fiance for the three months before we should be living together. I met someone who is a sound engineer and a really cool guy. We met randomly through my friend Laura who met him and they started talking about recording. These things happen all the time in Nashville but none of them are ever legit. Within a span of 2 weeks of recording and getting to know each other, i moved in to his place for less than i was paying at my house for the last year. Granted the place is smaller than Vern Troyer's closet, but it is a place with a studio and a brand new friendship that I have been yearning for since I have been down south (that is another blog entry).
Just Relax. I appear to have everything under control but it is obvious that i don't. I put on a good act though, you have to admit. God has everything where He wants it. I am convinced that I have no idea what is good for me in life. If I don't trust in God to show me what to do, I am going to end up really messing up my life and isolating myself from everyone around me. Ok, this is getting out of control...there's no way I just wrote all of this. Well, this may be a good idea after all. thanks dave.
-James-
I don't know why I try to keep everything inside and let it fester in there until it is forced to come out. I have never been one to spill my guts on any given topic, which makes me wonder why I started a blog in the first place. I think when I was told to relax, it hit me harder that anyone saying that to someone else would expect. I really needed that. Time after time God blesses me and I continue to worry about things as if they were too big for Him. Nonsense.
I needed a place to live for the summer and had about one month to really find a place. If I didn't find something I would have been forced to move in with my fiance for the three months before we should be living together. I met someone who is a sound engineer and a really cool guy. We met randomly through my friend Laura who met him and they started talking about recording. These things happen all the time in Nashville but none of them are ever legit. Within a span of 2 weeks of recording and getting to know each other, i moved in to his place for less than i was paying at my house for the last year. Granted the place is smaller than Vern Troyer's closet, but it is a place with a studio and a brand new friendship that I have been yearning for since I have been down south (that is another blog entry).
Just Relax. I appear to have everything under control but it is obvious that i don't. I put on a good act though, you have to admit. God has everything where He wants it. I am convinced that I have no idea what is good for me in life. If I don't trust in God to show me what to do, I am going to end up really messing up my life and isolating myself from everyone around me. Ok, this is getting out of control...there's no way I just wrote all of this. Well, this may be a good idea after all. thanks dave.
-James-
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